Rosemary’s Pixie: Three Years of Fear, Growth and Learning To Say Yes

Published October 17, 2015 by rmpixie

It’s year three for Rosemary’s Pixie and I’m happy to say once again that I’m still here. With all the ups and downs, steps forward cancelling out the steps back, I can truly say that fear has been a driving force in my learning curve.

In terms of horror, fear is essential and the thing I love most about the genre. The creatures, villains, and psychopaths all titillate and terrify; giving us that adrenaline rush that can’t be beat.  Tapping into it at the basest level triggers a primal response to keep us from danger, even though that danger is on a movie screen.  As a child, I loved to be scared by movies and stories, but in real life, fear became a bad thing manifesting itself in a not so great way.

I was taught to fear my elders, an all-seeing God, and authority figures because I was lead to believe they could determine whether I sink or swim.  I depended on them for guidance like most, but was held back by what they might do if I disobeyed the rules or went my own route, fearful of an unknown or harsh discipline and judgement.  This gave way to anxieties and pressures that became crippling as I grew older, and, along with some significant life events that changed me, made everything come to a full stop.  I soon found out these figures of authority and their mythologies were hugely flawed, did not apply to me, and I needed to live my own life.  That took a long time to figure out, but when I did, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Now I see fear as something good, something I feel before I take a leap into the unknown.  It now drives me to try new things and leave the doubt behind.  This past year, I have gained the confidence to branch out with my writing and love for horror, and I would like thank the following people for the support and faith that I could contribute interesting content:

First off, there’s Ashlee Blackwell, founder of www.graveyardshiftsisters.com.  She works tirelessly to make sure women of colour horror writers and fans like myself are heard.  She is scholar and über horror aficionado and I will forever appreciate her constant encouragement and support.  You must go to her site to learn about Black women and women of colour who contribute to the horror genre via print, film and other media, and I am honoured to have a couple of posts on her site:

http://www.graveyardshiftsisters.com/2015/08/sci-fi-sunday-advantageous-future-of.html

http://www.graveyardshiftsisters.com/2015/01/sci-fi-sunday-born-in-flames-adelaide.html

 

Then there is www.thegeeko.com, a super fun and informative site that covers all things geeky where my obsessive Face Off posts are shared, and www.cinemaaxis.com where I have just recently started contributing film reviews.  Thanks to Mat and Courtney for being really awesome dudes and restoring my faith in the blogging community.

Lastly, but never, ever least, are my girls Laina D. running around in a New York minute, Ana Maria who lives “over the pond” at the moment, and my cool, calm and collected sister Semone. Without these three lovelies, I don’t think I would have had the courage to sit in front of my poor, dusty laptop and hammer out anything at all.  Of course, there are all of my friends, visitors, Twitter followers and Facebook likers who read my ramblings and take the time to leave comments, both good and bad.  I am forever grateful to know you all still want to read what I have to say, and that you care enough to write a response.  Oh, and since you’re still here, stay tuned for a couple of announcements in the coming months/new year!

So this is what happens when you embrace the fear, take the leap and say “yes”. Here’s to another year of the good kind of fear, and more of saying, and hearing, that three-lettered word, that one syllable simply described in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “a positive answer to a question, request or offer” but opening doors to so much more.

Cheers!

Carolyn

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